Back to work after Maternity Leave
Working Parents and Carers; a balancing act…
A practical guide and a personal experience
I recently had a conversation with a Mum which reminded me of a post I had written in the past so I thought I would share.
Returning back to work was a super anxious time for me, I felt I had no purpose at work and really just wanted to hang out with our tiny human more. I hope you find this helpful :-)
__________________________________________________________
You have a new baby, your first or one of many. Regardless you have had a period away from paid work and whether you need to go back to paid work for financial or career reasons there is a transition of change approaching to find the new balance of ‘Carer’ vs ‘Employee’.
There are lots of things to think about and it can become overwhelming. You will be thinking about what needs to happen to physically start work, childcare arrangements and preparing to actually being apart from your new baby.
The transition to returning to work can be difficult, and if it is your first baby, it’s a total change of the life you have been living. It can be a huge transition for the entire household including your partner, baby and potentially other children. It can be overwhelming at times.
However, it doesn’t have to be stressful, with a little forward thinking and preparation it can be a little less overwhelming.
1. Stay in touch with work!
While on parental leave (assuming you plan to return) stay in touch with your colleagues. Keep an open and honest line of communication with your boss about when you plan to return to work.
In Australia you are required to give four weeks’ notice before you return from maternity leave. Keep in mind it could take up to a month to get into a new routine so start preparing your child for a new care schedule - a month before you return is ideal.
Keeping in touch with your boss and colleagues will keep you up to date with what has been happening, ensures you will know if there have been any major changes to staff or projects and help you to return with confidence.
2. Transition back to work
Think about requesting part-time hours, if this is not possible as a long-term option ask for a transitional period. If you were working full-time and will be going back full-time, try negotiating a 2-3 month period that you can work 3 days a week. This will give you the opportunity to ‘settle’ back into your role and a new routine in your household.
3. Flexible working hours?
The Australian National Employment Standards allow for women returning from maternity leave to request flexible working arrangements. This means that you have the right to ask to return to work part time or change your working hours to work around childcare arrangements.
If you would like to request flexible working arrangements you need to put your request in writing, state what you are looking for and your reasons why and be specific about the length of time you would like this arrangement to be in place.
Your employer has 21 days to respond to your request so the earlier you start this discussion the better. Just remember that your employer is not required to grant your request.
4. Childcare - sort this out early on!
Childcare can be stressful on so many levels. Getting it sorted early will help you feel ‘at ease’. Waiting lists can be long and it can take time to interview each centre to make sure you are sending your child somewhere you and your child feel comfortable with.
If family or friends are contributing to care ensure you have confirmed (and re-confirmed) the plan and that a back-up plan is in place.
5. Lists
Write a list of all the ‘things’ that you are concerned you won’t have time for and address them one-by-one. The usual ones are housework, meal preparation and grocery shopping.
Firstly, understand that the housework will never be ‘done’ as it is continual. When you finish the washing the family will come home that day and fill the basket back up! Break up chores into daily tasks so it does not seem so overwhelming and don’t forget to delegate to all family members.
Highlighting what can be ‘out-sourced’ by someone paid or family members will be very helpful. The month leading up to your start date make double of freeze-able meals and have them on standby. You will be grateful on the days you are rushed, there will be ready made and nutritious meals ready to go! Online grocery shopping can be amazing – you can shop at night in your PJ’s and have it delivered. Another benefit is you only get what you need and don’t purchase any of the extras!
A personal account - Back to work for Mum
I have been back at work now since May (2016), I was lucky enough to have had 13 months with my little girl before returning part-time.
Before going back to work and becoming a “working-mum” I was incredibly anxious about how it all was going to work:
- Getting ready in the morning
- Packing lunches
- Getting dressed, hair make-up
- Tidying the house before we leave so we don’t come home to World War 3!
- Pick-up and drop offs
I had read about “Mummy-Guilt” and didn’t really think about it until the first day I dropped my little girl off. She cried. I bravely waved, “Mummy loves you, see you this afternoon”. I walked out sat in my car and balled my eyes out for ten minutes, called my Mum and cried the whole way to work. Then I re-applied my make-up and started my life as a “working-mum”.
That guilt hit hard and is something that was constantly on my mind.
I felt guilty:
- For not spending more time with my daughter.
- If I had to leave and pick her up if she is sick.
- If I went for a run and she was awake.
- For being exhausted.
- For being so tied I couldn’t talk to my husband about his day.
- For preparing an average meal.
Thankfully, I took my own advice! I picked up the phone and called my boss. We had a catch-up and we discussed my anxiety about coming back to work. We developed a plan to go back to work 3 days a week for a 6 month period, which would be assessed again after 6 months.
I wrote many lists and cooked like a crazy person before going back to work. There was still something missing, until I attended a workshop on goals. There was not a lot to this workshop however what this evening gave me was time to think without someone yelling “Mum, Mumma Mum” or “Hunny, where is my wallet/keys/pants/socks”?.
I learned the simple trick is to breathe. Take 5 mins to re-group and get it together.
Then set some goals! These can be small and large and you can feel a sense of achievement as you complete the small ones and inch closer to the large ones each day. Having goals stops you feeling helpless and that you are on the continual circuit of the “hamster-wheel”.
As a direct result of my experience and drawing on my skills in training development we are now running a short work-shop for women on goals and finding your balance. If anything, it is a nice excuse for nibbles, a glass of sparkling and some time out for you! Grab a girlfriend and book in!Please contact me if you are interested in getting a group together or doing a 1:1 session.
